OhMiGod Korea

So I was leaving from Itaewon (the foreigner district) last week and I experienced the ultimate in Korean subway annoyances. Let me start from the beginning…

The trip started off okay. I had just left Neel and some others behind at the Wolfhound’s bar. On our way to the subway, Lisbeth and I spotted the holy grail of advertisements: a 20 ft banner advertising Taco Bell’s imminent return to South Korea (It had been here briefly and left after Taco Bell execs realized Koreans didn’t know what to do with on-the-go burritos and low grade meat tacos. Lisbeth and I were floored, and paused to take pictures and engage in what I like to call “foreigner-volume-level” exclamations.



Anyway, I got on the subway, rode the line 6 to my transfer at Dongmyo station, and broke into a Korean-style light jog in order to make my train on line 1 (which was sorta fun with my Wolfhound buzz). When I got there, however, I realized this train’s last station was Cheongyangni--the station right before mine. This happens to me about 40% of the time so I was willing to let this annoyance fizzle out a little even though it was late on a weeknight and I still had to hydrate and watch Gossip Girl before bed.

So I waited for the next rain in a semi-patient state. There’s an electronic board at most of the newer subway stations that shows if there are any trains at the two previous stops before the one you’re at. As the Cheongyangni train pulled away, another one popped up on the board.

While I waited, I occupied myself by trying to find the exact subway car door exit at Dongmyo that would open up at Hoegi by the escalators. This is very important, because if I’m in the right one—the car whose door opens right by the escalators---I can exit the subway train and jump right on the moving stairs without having to deal with Koreans cutting me off, or old Ajummahs disobeying the subway escalator etiquette and riding instead of walking up the left side of the steps.

Then, three things happen in quick succession:
The next train pulls into the station.
The loudspeaker announces that this is the train’s last stop.
I throw my head back and grumble at foreigner-volume-level.

Right around the time the third train rolls around (bound for a station past mine thank God), John Kennedy calls…my friend from TN, not the president. I haven’t talked to him in at least a month, and the first words he hears amidst the static and delay of our phone call are “Ohmigod Korea”…or something like that.



I board the third train (in what I hope is the ‘money’ subway car that will let me off at the magic exit). I have to stand up because there are no seats, but I don’t mind because I’m only four stops away and I’m talking to John Kennedy. We pull up to Cheongyangni, the stop right before mine, and everyone who had to get off of the previous train crowds onto ours. This makes the subway so crowded that there is barely standing room. Also, an old man gets on.

This man is not old old, just a little old. Old enough to get off work and get smashed at dinner on Soju and Malkali with his co-workers, or old enough to be newly forced to retire and bored with nothing to do except get smashed at dinner on Soju and Malkali with his other friends who have been forced to retire. Hell, who am I kidding? After you pass high school age in Korea everybody gets smashed at dinner on Soju and Malkali!

Anyway, this guy had had a bit more than the average Korean who usually just gets on the subway, swaying slightly, and smelling like he’d dumped a whole bottle of Soju on his pants by accident when the barbecue grill sputtered at dinner and he jumped, knocking the alcohol and a pound of kimchee and possibly garlic on his lap. This guy was leaning with his forehead against the doors, and, as the subway transferred from the underground track to the above-ground railroad tracks, he started holding his mouth with his hands, pinching his lips together.

As if this wasn’t enough, a girl was standing behind me pushing against my back, saying “Chamshinmanyon” (or at least, that’s how it sounds) which is something Koreans say when they want you to move or want you to wait on something. In this case, I think she wanted me to move. But my stop was the next stop, and, in any case, even if I had wanted to move there would have been nowhere to go. Nevertheless, the girl kept pushing and saying “Chamshinmanyon, Chamshinmanyon” to anyone who would listen…and people weren’t because everyone standing near the door was, get this, getting off at the next station. Can you imagine? Why would you stand by the door if you were getting off? That doesn’t make sense. If you’re getting off, wouldn’t you stand back in the middle and wait until right before your stop comes up, then start pushing on people’s backs saying “Chamshinmanyon” assuming that you’re the only person who wants to get off at this upcoming transfer station?

So there’s Chamshinmanyon girl pushing from behind me and the not-so-old guy about to puke all over the door everyone’s about to exit out of in front of me. Also there’s John on the phone listening to me bitch about everything.

When the train finally pulls into the station I see that I have grossly miscalculated the ‘money spot’ subway car and end up about five cars away from the escalators. But that doesn’t matter because Chamshinmanyon girl pushes me from behind as we get out so that I’m propelled forward at a speed that allows me to make up for the lost ground.

Finally I manage to get through the turn styles at Hoegi without falling victim to what I like to call the ‘Korean veering Phenomenon.”

Korean Veering Phenomenon: A phenomenon that occurs in Korea, especially in public places, in which Koreans utilize a sixth sense that allows them to detect when a foreigner is approaching them from behind at a pace quicker than the pace they are walking. This sense also allows them to detect the angle and direction from which they are approaching. Koreans often use this knowledge to veer gradually toward the right or left such that the foreigner runs out of space and can no longer pass them. You know KVP has occurred when you see a foreigner walking closely behind a Korean watching TV on their cell phone. (I myself experienced KVP the other day when I was trying to catch a subway train and had to round a corner to go down some steps. There was a large crowd of people coming up the steps in the opposite direction. There was just enough room between the wall and the crowd of people to squeeze around the corner and make it down the steps, but an old man (ajoshi) came out of nowhere and KVPed me into the wall. I ended up sort of side shuffling along with my arms spread wide until I made it around the corner and was able to run down the stairs)



That night after dinner in Itaewon, the missed subway cars, the almost-puking guy, and the Chamshinmanyon girl, I managed to make it out of the turn styles at Hoegi station without falling victim to KVP. Usually after this, I’m home free. All I have to do is walk a straight line the twenty feet or so out the door.

So remember, I was talking on the phone to John K., walking my straight line, when a small girl/woman runs into my left shoulder. Her head’s down. I can’t see her face. She makes no move to go around me. I think, “if I keep walking in a straight line and this girl keeps moving forward in her own direction, she will come unstuck from me and go on her way.” Because that’s what we were: stuck. It’s like she wasn’t a human but some sort of rag doll programmed to walk a certain way and then the programmer died and forgot to do give her a brain. (okay that’s harsh, but still).

I keep walking forward, and she sort of let’s herself be carried along with me. Her head’s on my shoulder and we kind of walk together for three or four steps. Then her boyfriend (I guess) swoops in and kind of ushers her away, saying something I assume was an apology.

Hey kids, its just another day in Korea. An especially bad one, and one that can be avoided if you avoid the subway, but a normal day nonetheless.

I had other stuff to tell you guys besides this story, but I got so bogged down by everything I forgot.

Here’s a list of things random happenings:

1.A 3rd grader stood up in class and asked “May I speak Korean now?”

2.There is a character in our 3rd grade textbook named “Lisa” who is an African American cartoon girl with dread locks. In the CD rom accompaniment to the book, however, the actress that plays “Lisa” is Indian (from India).

3.I guess I’ve been sleeping weird lately. When I stood up to go to the bathroom the other night I immediately dropped to the floor because my foot was asleep. Weird.

Thank God my co-teacher is a capable human being.

Thank God my co-teacher is a capable human being.

We’re a new team, her and I, and I was anxious about how well we’d work together. We do fifth grade, nine classes, at the end of every week. She’s new to the school, she’s young, and I didn’t have high expectations because when we planned out our lesson together she seemed to follow pretty close to the lesson plan recommended in the book-- which tends to be a bit dry and suggests games for students that are unrealistic because either the students’ level isn’t high enough or because they are not well behaved enough to handle the relaxed classroom atmosphere the game requires. Plus, her previous position as a teacher in Nowon probably meant that she taught higher level students who were probably relatively well behaved.

Side note: In order to understand the different levels of students one may encounter in the Seoul school system you must have the following background information: Most of the higher education level/higher economic level students that go to our Elementary School move to Nowon in middle school to get a better public school education because there is more money flowing into the school system there. This phenomenon happens all over the city even though the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education requires teachers and administration to rotate randomly to a new school every five years to help keep education levels equal. The discrepancies in quality of education probably happen because of the different levels of income. Higher income areas send their kids to expensive after school academies, have higher parent involvement in school activities and I suppose have more money in their budgets for classroom equipment. When you ask someone in Seoul where the ‘bad’ areas of the city are, they will tell you areas in which the education is poorer because, let’s face it, there is really no unsafe areas in this city.)

Needless to say, I felt that my new co-teacher had had the life up in Nowon and was dreadfully unprepared for the roughness of our student population. But The Powers That Be must have felt I deserved a break because she blew me away.

She had behavioral chants for them to say when they began to act up. She had them bow hello and goodbye. She had them make nametags with their English names on them and display them on their desks. In short, she was MegaTeacher.

Fifth grade went by swimmingly, and I felt myself beginning to enjoy getting to know them.

Here are some more random happenings:

1.The third graders absolutely hated the names Rose and Sam. Sam means “fountain” in Korean. I’m not sure why they didn’t like Rose, but one girl begged me to change her name. She even took the time to think through an English plea: “Please teacher, I don’t like this name.” When I took up the nametag, she put it in my hand and said “I don’t like this!” It was like I was calling her Crap or Butthead.

2.When I asked the fifth graders to name any states they knew, I got the following responses: Guam, L.A., Miami, Mexico, London

3.My Co-teacher kept telling the kids that San Fransisco was a state.

4.I took my first Korean class yesterday. It was taught completely in Korean by a rather attractive Korean man. He had a doll made up of two pandas connected by a string. When you pulled them apart, they made cute noises and a little song played. He used this doll to demonstrate something or other. The funny part is, he thought the panda dolls were the cutest/funniest/most entertaining thing. He kept pulling them apart and laughing even though to us (a class full of westerners…Germans, French, Egyptian, American, etc.) it was only slightly funny the first time. The entertaining effect the Korean teacher was going for worked, however, because we thought his fascination with the pandas was funny.

5.Andrew Dillon broke his wrist snow boarding a couple of weeks ago. Since then, he has decided to continue working out one side of his body.



(Andrew Dillon making the "L" for loser sign. He claims he was scratching his eyebrow in contemplation.)

Respectful Barriers

Let me tell you about something that happened to me this morning.

To begin, I was told that today I’d only have to teach two out of four classes because the kids were having class elections (a couple of days ago they all marched around the school with signs and posters and chants…). So last night I decided to celebrate with a couple of G&Ts and some beer with dinner—Lisbeth left my apartment saying “when I turn my head like this you have four eyes”.



(Neel and I eating Galbi (Korean BBQ), one of our favorite meals in Seoul)

When I get to school, I find out we have to teach all the classes. The reason for this is that the homeroom teachers can choose to hold class elections during different time periods than the officially scheduled ones. Their incentive to do this is that they want the kids to have English class because when they have English class the homeroom teacher gets to leave the classroom and take a break. So they call up the English teachers and “ask” them to come in and teach English that day. I put on all my best powers of persuasion and told my co-teacher, Yong-eun, that I thought that was kind of mean. She managed to get us out of one class but the other one was taught by a male teacher who was in charge of overseeing her duties as coordinator of after school classes.

This is third period. So right before we’re supposed to go to class, Yong-eun tells me she has a meeting to go to, and she’ll meet me up there. When I get up there, the kids are in full swing craziness, screaming “hello teacher” as soon as I get in the room, up out of the seats, drawing on the board, etc. Yong-eun tells me she has to go back to the meeting because it started late and was taking longer than expected and could I please entertain the students until she got back? Here are some things you should know before I continue the story:

1.This class is a third grade class. Third grade is the first year students are officially introduced to English.

2.This is the first English lesson this class has ever had.

3.I’ve never taught a third grade class by myself.

4.The homeroom teacher of this class is male. As a general rule, classes taught by male teachers are usually not as well behaved.



Needless to say, I had a very hard time entertaining them for the thirty minutes she was gone. I searched for “funny animal videos” on youtube and put them up on the screen. Kids asked to go to the bathroom and I had to tell them know by forming an “x” with my hands and leading them back to their seats. It was a night mare.

This whole situation makes me upset not because I feel as if my co-teacher left me in the lurch, but because of the reasons behind why she had to go to the meeting.

She was meeting with her after school committee of teachers because, on top of her responsibilities as an English teacher, she’s also in charge of after school classes (which she doesn’t teach). Her committee consists of her, a head teacher (the homeroom teacher of the class I was currently suffering in) the vice principal and another sixth grade homeroom teacher that was assigned to help Yong-eun. There are several reasons why this meeting was ridiculous:

1.The meeting had to be held in the third period, a time when Yongeun had class. We had just had an hour break before that in which she could have had the meeting; however, the meeting was probably arbitrarily set up by the vice principal and to have it changed at the last minute would have been seen as disrespectful to the VP. Lame.

2.The meeting took longer than expected because the sixth grade homeroom teacher that was supposed to help Yongeun dared to complain about her added workload. This was unforeseen because no one is ever supposed to complain or have negative feedback about anything except the administration. The Vice Principal was angry about her disrespectfulness. Yongeun was mad about the sixth grade teacher not taking her share of the work. The head teacher was mad because the VP’s solution was to assign the head teacher more of the work.

Now, the sixth grade teacher is new to the school, which puts her at the bottom of the totem pole which is why she was assigned to sixth grade (the worst grade) and to extra after school program work. BUT, she is also an older lady, which earns her some respect and is probably why she felt she could talk back to the VP.

The head teacher is male which automatically puts him at the top of the totem pole. Also, head teachers and positions of higher authority generally have less responsibility than their underlings.

This leaves poor Yong-eun at the bottom of the totem pole, overseeing a program that she has no concern for and no experience with just because she’s young and female and, therefore, least likely to argue.

Also, this leaves poor me, overseeing a third grade class that does not have the slightest idea what I’m trying to tell them and whose first experience of English class is funny animal videos and poor classroom management.

There is one more thing I want to cover. In general, the number of male teachers in elementary schools is much lower than female teachers; however, they almost always occupy a position of authority. Principals are almost always male and VPs are like seventy percent male. Male teachers are usually head teachers of their grades or programs (like the after school one). Our current English head teacher is a male home room teacher who doesn’t speak a word of English. Further, most of the time classes that have male homeroom teachers generally tend to be less well behaved. The men don’t concentrate on their classes or teaching, rather they try to scale the administrative ladder. There are exceptions, of course. One male teacher in particular I like really well. He’s a good teacher and his classes both respect him and like him.

To conclude, here is a list of random happenings I thought you might find amusing:

1.Instead of trying to separate the fish meat from the bone, I have resigned myself to eating fish bones during school lunches.

2.When my third graders got their English names, most of them liked the names “Jennie, Abby, Hannah and Lisa” They didn’t like “Jade or Patrick”

3.I wanted someone to be named Bob, but in Korean it translates to “bap” which is the Korean word for “rice.” Yongeun said no one would go for that.

4.Today the kids followed me all the way down the hall saying “goodbye” and waving.

5.I had to sprint yesterday to make my bus home. When I finally got on the bus, the bus driver made some exclamatory comments which I didn’t understand, and when I didn’t respond, kept saying them louder and louder until I just ducked my head and pretended to text someone on the phone.

Afternoon in a Haze

OMG. So I’m updating my blogs now in Word and transferring the whole thing over to Blogger because I don’t trust my school computer. Here are a few reasons why:

1.I am unable to select and hold a desktop background. Everytime I try to put a picture up or a nice rustic country scene the whole thing goes black within the hour. The school computer guy thinks I’m Goth or computer-retarded or something because whenever he comes in to look at something on my computer he sets a new pic for the background and tells my co-teacher, who informs me, that I can change the background if I want. It takes all my self control not to laugh helplessly in his face.


2.Explorer will only sometimes run certain websites like Facebook or blogger. Depending on the day I think. On Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays it will operate them with great efficiency. On Tuesdays and Thursdays it will refuse to operate the websites at all, and send me an “error” message instead. Every week day Mozilla will run everything slowly and laboriously, sometimes causing me to force quit the application.

3.My computer takes a good 3-5 minutes to start up every morning. The screen is black. When my co-teachers see this they come over and start clicking the mouse furiously as if this is the first time my computer is slow in getting started. I try to explain the fact that this is normal routine computer procedure and we just have to wait it out. I’m still not sure whether they just don’t understand me or they too think I’m computer retarded. The thing about Korea is, “do first, ask questions later.” (Click furiously, take time to dissect the foreign teacher’s ramblings later.) Another thing you could say about Korea is that the population as a whole (from what I’ve seen) has a much lower understanding of computer operating systems. For example, my co teachers frequently yank out my USB without properly ejecting it, causing me to cringe and ask if they could eject it next time. To which they nod agreeably, and then replicate the action next time. (What’s the foreign teacher saying again? Eh, whatever.)

4.There is a message that appears every so often that tells me there is a possibility I’m running a counterfeit copy of Windows and would I like to be a good PC user and purchase a real copy? I think this is where most of my problems stem. It seems that in their efforts to acquire an English operating system for my computer, they somehow acquired a copy instead of the real thing. The computer guy must have then unknowingly ran a system update which detected the fraud and injected the ‘EFF you illegal software user’ package onto my computer. Usually, I’m okay with this minor annoyance. But when my desktop disappears on my computer and all I’m left with is the current open windows I’m working out of, I get frustrated. I try to amp up my efforts to explain things to the computer guy. So far, I think he just thinks I’m a moron.

So now that you know the conditions I’m working under, I’ll begin with a somewhat quick update on my life.

School has now begun again in full swing. I had five classes today, three in the morning and two after lunch. Luckily, they’re all third graders. On Thursday and Friday I’ve got fifth and I have no idea how I’ll make it through the day. I have to give so much energy to speak and hold class attention for five hours. I’m dead tired now.

I hate this feeling because it hinders what I can accomplish outside of school. I’ve always got big plans post-school like working out, having dinner with friends, finally cleaning my bathroom. But I usually end up watching arrested development and making a sandwich, going to sleep and starting the whole thing all over again. NO wonder people hate working.

I’ve also started on a short story, and I hope I can keep working on that. Like I said earlier, I applied to MFA programs but I’m afraid I won’t get accepted to any schools and, as an effect, be discouraged in my quest to become a quality writer.

To conclude, here is a list of notable questions my third graders asked me today when I was introducing myself.

-Do you kiss your boyfriend?
-What is your blood type?
-How is it possible for your American mom to marry your Korean dad?
-How old is your dog? How old is that cat?
-The cat is big. (referring to Gary)
-Do they have computers in America?
-Do you know where Washington is?
-Are you married?
-Do you know Spongebob?
-What is your phone number?

Cultural Paradox

All the teachers just got a gift of luxury bath towels from the parents as a way to welcome the new principal. Whatever that means.

The gift was wrapped and each of us got one, but not a single teacher made a move to unwrap it. I was hoping we scored some chocolate or warm squishy rice cake, although the wrapping smelled like newspaper. I hesitated between mouse clicks and type strokes, my hunger ultimately trumping my concern for possibly committing a social faux pas.

The reason I’m telling you this is because my hesitation, that concern that I may be looked upon as weird or different--even more so than I already am in my status as a foreigner--, got me thinking about Koran social norms. I’ve drawn some conclusions that may be over simplified and grossly incorrect, but that I’m going to tell you about anyway because they’re entertaining.

Of course, as always, I will attempt to put these conclusions in list form for a more easily digestible reading experience.

But first I must preface the list with this: there is a contradiction in Korean society that drives me crazy. While Koreans are constantly concerned with the idea of a collective society, one that holds individuals in check and responsible for their actions through shame and social obligation (thereby requiring Koreans to constantly acknowledge each other in public), they also practice the weird and hard-to-adapt-to custom of pretending that strangers don’t really exist such that they can ignore strangers in certain situations. This will be easier to understand in the following list.

(My cousin, her friends, Andrew and I in Wonju Province at the Modugal festival)

Some social standards in Korean society:

1. Respect and make exceptions for the elderly and children.

(I almost labeled this “Respect and make exceptions for the weaker members of society” but this rule doesn’t apply to physically disabled people.) People observe this rule in America as well; however, the difference between the Korean and American perspective on this rule is that it is less of a rule in America and more of a moral or ethical decision. For example, in Korean society, it is almost required of a younger person to give up his or her seat on a bus or subway to an elderly person or children. This sounds like a small thing, but in the reality of everyday transportation in Seoul it gets to be a somewhat major sacrifice. Further, when you do give up your seat, there is rarely a ‘thank you’ but rather a dismissive wave that seems to indicate that your action was expected. The elderly come and stand by young people’s seats on purpose, and if you don’t yield immediately, impose a strategy of staring at you until you do. Young people have developed a defense against this social abuse: they watch TV on their cell phones or pretend like they’re asleep.

Other privileges children and the elderly enjoy include cutting line at subways, buses and bathrooms, blatant staring at people or things they find interesting, yelling or shouting in public places, physically fighting in public places. The elderly must also be spoken to in the polite Korean form at all times.


2. Dress nicely and appropriately when in public places or around people who aren’t family.

Koreans must always put effort into the appearance, or at least look like they do. Men and women frequently get hair cuts (at salons for like ten bucks). Both men and women style their hair and women rarely wear it casually pulled back. Most Koreans, like the numerous k-pop groups, follow a style or trend whether it be the newest western fashions, punk, androgynous, etc. High heels are extremely common. Women don’t wear hats in the long winter months of below-freezing temperatures because they don’t want to mess up their hair and make up. In the summer, women keep their shoulders and chest covered even in the heat to avoid being inappropriate. Going out in sweat pants or flip flops is hard because people stare at you. Its like…at least this is how I feel…that its your obligation to look nice because you’re representing Koreans. I mean, this may not be true everywhere in Korea, but I definitely feel like its true in Seoul.

I know my cousin won’t mind me using her as an example. We were getting our photos taken at a studio in Insadong, and they pulled our hair back tight in a bun for the photos. When we finished, there was a huge crease in our hair. I put my hair back, but she was worried about going out into the city and being seen. She said, “I’m acting like a typical Korean girl.”

3. Do not get loud or overly personal in public places

This rule means maintaining a relatively low sound level in bars, restaurants, subways, buses, streets, work place, etc. My co teachers and I leave our office to talk on the cell phone. Groups of westerners I have been with have been asked to be quiet or leave in many bars and public transportation places. PDA, cursing, and inappropriate talk is also frowned upon, and if heard by the elderly or middle aged, women may earn you some harsh stares.

The point of this list is to show that these social norms are stricter than American social norms because the public holds you more accountable. This is usually done through stares, but can sometimes escalate to someone telling you to be quiet or stop doing what you’re doing. It is not unusual to see an old man or woman yelling at a younger Korean for some crime no one saw committed.

(My friend Vivian and I in the subway in Winter. Lisbeth is talking to a stranger!)

Examples of the “Stranger” Rule

As I said earlier, even though Koreans hold each other responsible for their actions in public and feel like they are constantly representing Korean society and must, therefore, abide by certain rules and standards, they also treat strangers (in other situations) like they don’t exist.

1. You do not exist on the street

When I arrived here, one of the first things I noticed when I went out into the city was that people run into you. Of course, this happens in crowded cities. But in Seoul, it happens often, and without apology. People usually don’t alter their paths one iota to accommodate yours, and I often wonder what would happen if I didn’t move…would we just run into each other? Sometimes I try to do it, go against all my western instincts and just run into people (the way Andrew does when he gets really mad). I can’t help but swerve at the last minute and usually end up nicking people in the shoulders. The Koreans don’t look at you though, they just keep walking. They small Korean girls usually get knocked pretty hard and sometimes they let out a whine, but most of the time they bear up and keep balanced on their high heels.

Koreans walk and watch TV on their cell phones, they walk with their head down, they poke you in the eye with umbrellas, they fall asleep on you on the subway (literally head on your shoulder)…You can even see this kind of thinking while driving. People cut each other off and race to beat the bus, and try pass each other in the other lane at the last minute even though the traffic begins to pick up in their lane…But the Koreans never get traffic rage. They just accept it, maybe act surprised that they almost died, and keep driving.

2. You aren’t a viable option as a boyfriend/girlfriend unless you’ve been formally introduced

Aside from a few special circumstances, most Koreans meet their significant others through a ‘blind date’ or a ‘meeting.’ A blind date is pretty self-explanatory…a mutual friend introduces you and you go on a date. A meeting is what happens with a group of evenly matched people (even number of boys and girls) gets together to go out for dinner/drinks whatever. Most of the time, except for the boy and girl who brought the group together in the first place, the boys and girls don’t know each other. They play ice breaker games to loosen the ice such as “Image Game” in which a person says a statement (like who is most likely to get plastic surgery) and everyone points their chopstick at who they think the statement applies to/.

One time I was at a bar and the group of friends I was with (westerners, two boys and two girls including me) sat down with a group of two Korean girls and one korean boy who invited us (maybe because our groups almost matched?) The K-boy promptly asked the two western boys I was with which girl he thought was the prettiest.

There are some ways girls and boys who don’t know each other interact in Seoul. For example, night clubs in Seoul are places in which girls are pulled away from the tables they’re sitting at or the groups there with and made to sit with a different group of boys at the club. From there they can go back to their original table or they can stay to talk to the new boys. Also, dance clubs are another place where social barriers are more lax. Guys are usually very aggressive with girls on the dance floor, usually more aggressive with girls they don’t know, and this interaction sometimes results in friendship or hookups.

3. If you fall they will not help.

Unless you’re old or a child, if you fall or do something embarrassing in public, the general population will pretend it didn’t happen. As mentioned in a previous post, I was walking on the street looking around at the city and ran head-first into a steel sign. The guy in front of me turned around to see what happened, saw, and quickly turned his head forward again without breaking stride. I’ve seen other Koreans fall on the steps or in the street, I myself have eaten it in the subway or on the icy winter Seoul streets, the result is always the same.

Westerners are always the exception to the rules. If a Korean can tell you’re foreign, they don’t hold you to the same standards or expect you to follow the rules. But for me, its harder because unless I’m talking on the phone or with a friend, Koreans assume I’m Korean, and if I break a rule, they look at me as if I should know better.

I didn’t really mean for this post to sound so negative. It started off as an observation of a weird paradox I observed in Korean culture and evolved into a sort of rant. I guess it reflects some of my personal frustrations with living here; however, I have to note that I have come to appreciate Korean culture. It helps conserve your energy somewhat to not have to interact with strangers all the time. I like dressing up to go out into the city. I want to try out the night club experience. Its nice to live in for a while, but I fear that my western instincts and upbringing have ruined me for permanent living here. What do you guys think??

Back to School Again.

Disclaimer: I already tried to update this once, so if I’m a bit short bear with me.

It’s the same cracked walls and cold office, kids cutting me off on the steps and dust in the hallways from construction seeping through the temporary ply board walls that line the back of the school. But everything’s different. Teachers are moving about the room, introducing themselves and helping each other figure out the school’s messaging system. An older homeroom teacher came to the subject room, arms full of office supplies and a chair cushion, looking around for a desk. A vice principal came and led her away.

I have a new co-teacher who is now my ‘monitor.’ Her name is Jenny (or Julie?) and we now teach 9 hours of fifth grade classes together a week.

I came to school this morning with the absurd hope that I would get to teach third and fourth graders with my secondary co-teacher Yong-eun. Mijung (my former fifth grade co teacher) would remain my ‘monitor’ or main co-teacher and things would remain relatively unchanged except for the added perk of only teaching young, perfectly behaved 8-10 yr olds.

In reality, I teach 14hours of third grade and 9 hours of fifth grade a week. I have to establish a new relationship with Jenny not only for classroom and teaching purposes but also for personal reasons. I was just becoming comfortable with Mijung. I knew that she would never question a sick day, I could text her without actually having to call her, the best way to get what I wanted with her was to be open and frank with her and talk about everything. When that didn’t work, I could complain to Yong Eun who would talk to Mijung until Mijung felt guilty and tried to do more. I felt pretty sure that Mijung had my best interests at heart and mainly struggled with the contradictory directions that my needs and the administrations’ demands took. Now, I have no idea who this Jenny person is or how she works. She doesn’t even know the Can Do Kids’ song for Christ’s sake.

All of that would be tolerable if it weren’t for the fact that I have to confront my new co teacher about the number of hours I’m teaching. In our contract is says we teach a total of 22 hours per week. If total number of teaching hours exceeds that number I am due overtime pay. I’m pretty sure my new 23 hour a week schedule isn’t including overtime pay with it. I guess I’ll have to dust off the ole contract and refer to SMOE world.com for what course of action to take.

SMOE world is the closest thing we have to a union. It’s a website consisting of SMOE vets who dole out advice and complaints. You have to have a password. You have to pass inspection to join. It’s pretty serious.

In other news, I’m anxiously awaiting news from graduate schools and my future in the United States. I got accepted to UT law and offered a full tuition scholarship. I also got waitlisted at Vanderbilt for the MFA program there. Out of hundreds of applications they accepted three and waitlisted seven. That puts me in like the top two percent! Even if I don’t get accepted into a program, I at least gained some confidence in myself as a writer. People whose job it is to distinguish between potentially good writing and bad writing think my writing may be worth something…

I’m updating mainly because Will Hale lectured me on the values, both externally and internally, of blog updates. Him and T-rav skyped me not too long ago while drinking at Will’s apartment. I miss you guys terribly. I wish I was there to celebrate the UT victory over KY in basketball with you, eat a Moo Moo Mr. Cow at Moe’s, work for twenty percet tips at Tomo, workout at the T-recs, watch adult swim, sleep with Eli on the futon, and, most of all, take whiskey shots in the kitchen. I love you guys!

Is she really still in Korea?

(Me at Konjiam Ski Resort last weekend. The yellow sign says: Warning, Expert Slope)

Yes, followers, yes I am.

I have neglected the blog for several reasons.

1st: Before Christmas I was completely consumed and obsessed by graduate school applications. I studied algebra, I wrote short stories, I hounded my letter of recommendation writers, I filled in applications like a mad woman. There was no time for silly blog updates!

2nd: I lost my camera cord for a while. Correction, Lisbeth lost my camera cord in the abyss that is the giant mess in her room. (Lisbeth's room is a mess partly because she is afraid to throw out the trash and partly....just a little bit...because instead of cleaning she watches Korean soap operas on the internet). No worries though, Lili ordered and bought me a new one straight from Hong Kong! Pics should be up sooner rather than later.

3rd: I just havent felt like updating for a while.

But lately I've been feeling more like myself, making friends, filling up my free time with mindless TV just like at home! Megavideo is one of the only things that works here, and they cut you off after 75 minutes of TV. So often, right before Michael Cera is about to deliver a subtle yet hilarious punch line in arrested Development, or right in the middle of the Baker Girls' latest boy drama in Privileged, the screen cuts off and I stomp around my 14ft by 8ft apartment.

If it weren't for great friends willing to come meet me in my neck of the woods (Hoegi Yuk/Station) I"d probably go insane due to Megavideo stress-related incidents. I made a few friends during one of my winter camps at Sinne Elementary (not my school). They showed me how wonderful work can be when you are surrounded by four or five people who know how to play Spades and who can understand sentences like "that last hand you played was ballin'" or "Let's just pretend like we didnt understand what time we had to be back from lunch."

Ski Resort Madness

Andrew and I stayed in a cabin at a ski resort last weekend with some random friends/westerners we just met and a Korean guy we've been friends with for a couple of months now. I will now account what happened in the weeks before the cabin in list form because I think things are wonderfully easy to digest this way.

1. I get a call from my uncle who says he works for LG and can get us a mega ultra discounted cabin on a ski resort an hour outside of seoul. (114,000 won a night instead of 640,0000 won a night). Plus he can get us 50 % off rentals and lift tickets.

2. I consult Andrew, lisbeth, Dani et al. and we agree that this deal sounds like one of the most amazing things that have come our way in a while.

3. My uncle tells us the reservations are for a Saturday night and Sunday night. His family cant go because he forgot his kids started school the following week.

4. I ask for vacation for Monday so I can stay Sunday night. Andrew finds out he doesnt even have to go into school that day (because teaching high school in Korea is the bomb ass diggity and you never have to do anything...well you know, a little, but not much).

5. I set up a schedule of people coming to and from the cabin in groups of six to stay with us. Most are staying Saturday night and not sunday due to work. This process includes bus reservations, lift ticket inquiries, and much pressure from my part on people to confirm or not.

6. my uncle calls two days before the reservation and tells us he got the dates wrong. the reservations are for sunday and monday nights. (at this point I am half annoyed by my uncles's obvious scatter-brainedness and half amused)

7. everybody bails because they cant get out of work except me and andrew. andrew and i decide to go the cheap route instead of romantic-only-the-two-of-us route. I find a guy I meet the night before and he brings his friend. I also casually invite Kyung Han, a Korean guy we've known for a while with halting English who I don't expect to agree to go but tell me he'll go if he doesn't "get injured" on another ski trip he's taking earlier in the week.

(Kyung Han and I at the Ski Resort)

8. Our motly crew arrives and parties and skiis and has a generally good time.

yay for random last minute calls!

Here are some pics fromthe ski trip courtesy of Kyung Han. I will post another blog update soon when I get my own pics uploaded.

(Me, Andrew, James) (James, Kyung Han, Sebastien, Andrew)