Do You Know Who I am?

Here’s some Bloginess coming at cha--- (was that funny? Sometimes when I’m too happy my writing can get kinda punchy)

Mom’s here first and foremost and it’s amazing. Forget the fact that she’s paying for the five star hotel for our vacation to Jeju Island this weekend. Forget the fact that she’s bringing me Zpacks (hardcore anti biotics) and presents and messages from loved ones back home. She’s just so damn familiar. When I saw her these thoughts came to my head (not necessarily in this order):

1.Brodie, my beloved neurotic dog, sprinting around our house every time we come back home. He may be living with me when I go to law school next year.

2.My backyard at my parents’ house—we have a lame little peach tree (the pathetic wispy, Lowes –bought kind that are planted in middle class suburban neighborhoods) that produces hard, inedible peaches. I like to go out there when I’m bored or restless from being inside and break them in half in my hand to look at the fleshy inside.

3.Having space to maneuver around people so as to avoid hitting them (not possible in Korea due to space restrictions and weird cultural norms that avoid acknowledging a strangers’ existence)

4.Being able to drive a car. (before Korea I was all for public transportation, saving the environment and money etc etc. I can envision my little uppity liberal mouth spouting all kinds of crap about the way of the future. Now I’d shave my head for access to a car and the freedom to come and go as I please without having to worry about subway schedules, puking Korean girls or drunk ajoshees (old Korean men) trying to yell at the entire subway car.)



(My mom and I during the first time she visited in November)

My principal asked me today if I knew who he was (In Korean translated through my co-teacher). After I told him Yes, I’ve been aware that he was the principal ever since we were introduced in his office right after he came to the school, I got to thinking: Does my principal think I’m retarded because I can’t speak Korean?

I mean, this is somewhat valid. The students get frustrated with me all the time because I can’t speak Korean. For example, a student might ask me for help with the rules of a game and I completely misinterpret what they’re asking me. I think it would go like this:

Student Perspective:

Student: (in English) Malia Teacher! Help!

Me:Okay.(approach the table and look open and helpful)

Student:(in Korean) My partner won’t say the English word during the game. Does that mean he doesn’t get his points?

Me: Umm okay. Let’s do rock paper scissors to see who goes first. (pantomime rock paper scissors)


Student: No teacher! Minsu won’t say the English word but he’s still
counting the points.It’s not fair.

Me: Why aren’t you doing rock, paper, scissors?

Teacher Perspective:

Student:(in English) Malia Teacher! Help!


Me:Okay.(approach the table and look open and helpful)

Student:Korean Korean Korean Korean Korean. (Point vaguely at their
desk) Korean Korean.

Me:look around for where my Korean co-teacher is. She’s busy. Wing
it.) Let’s do Rock, paper, scissors.

You can see where it’s going from there.

My friend Neil who works at an elementary school in a different district of Seoul swears straight out that he hears his students calling him stupid (which is bobo in Korean).

I think they also feel as if I’m a little stupid for staring at them blankly when they come up to me and earnestly try to engage me in conversation (I mean, as earnestly as a third grader can). In my opinion, kids and adults have a hard enough time communicating without the language barrier, and kids always tend to get exasperated that those of us living in the adult world can’t remember enough of what our own childhood felt like to relate. I remember consciously having a thought when I was somewhere around 10 or 11 that went something like “when I grow up I am not going to forget what this feels like and act as stupidly as mom and dad are acting right now.”

Outside my school atmosphere it’s worse. In Seoul, Koreans think I’m Korean and treat me like one of their own. This may sound good in the ‘oh you’re experiencing what the culture is really like’ kind of way, but its not. I get asked for directions to places all the time on the street and in the subway from people of all ages (but mostly old people). When I tell them “I don’t understand Korean” in Korean, they just repeat whatever they said louder, as if I may be slightly deaf. I finally have to just break into speaking really fast English so that they’ll get the point and walk away, leaving me with the definite impression that I was the one who messed up that ordinary little societal exchange.

I feel as if I’m constantly doing something that clashes with what I’m supposed to be doing, with the idea that people have of me (as a perceived fellow Korean). I think this is hard to understand through a western lens because we are not a collectivist people. In Korea, you are constantly observed and conscious of those around you, even if you’re ignoring them. And I can guarantee you that they’ll notice if you do something immoral or even just embarrassing and, depending on what demographic they fall into (male/female, old/young, rich/poor) they may say or do something in reaction to your perceived immoral act. Korean children must attend ethics and moral education starting in the first grade. They have classes that talk about what the right thing for them to do is in a certain situation.

Koreans can be drunk in public (even though its not something people strive for its definitely culturally accepted as part of life), but they don’t want to be seen drinking in public places that aren’t designated as a place to drink (like a bar or restaurant etc). This is true even though there’s no open container laws or public drunkenness laws. I can’t tell you how many Koreans I’ve seen passed out or throwing up on the subways, but I’ve NEVER seen one actually drinking alcohol on the subway. Last weekend, when us ‘crazy foreigners’ popped open some soju and passed it around between us on the subway on the way back from a baseball game, our Korean friend that was with us refused to join us even though she drank before that at the game and after that at a bar.

I’ve already talked about the giving up your seat thing. That is definitely a moral struggle young people have to deal with everyday and believe me, the old people are not afraid to make you feel guilty.

Andrew and Lisbeth often talk about their get-out-of-jail-free White Card (WC). They use it all the time even when they don’t want to. They have no choice, their face and skin are a walking talking WC. Because of this, they are forgiven for drinking on the subway, for not giving up their seat to an old person, for talking too loud in places wher eyou’re not supposed to talk loudly, etc because just by looking at them you can tell they’re foreign and don’t know any better.

But I also think their WC separates them from the Korean population somewhat. The people who approach them do so because they want to practice their English, or are fascinated by a foreign culture. People don’t sit by Andrew on the subway for some reason (still haven’t figured that out yet). The other weekend we went to a place by the river to watch the cherry blossoms bloom (which btw hadn’t yet because the temperatures were still regularly below freezing in mid April). We were walking into a restaurant and Andrew was in the lead. As soon as he entered a little boy, who was running around the restaurant apparently on a free-for-all romp, stopped short when he saw Andrew and began to cry. Hilarious WC action working against him.

Anyway, my principal made me re-evaluate my status as a foreigner dressed in Korean clothing today for perhaps the hundredth time. Just thought I’d share.

I’ll leave you with some thoughts on Korean baseball:

1.You don’t get out if they hit you with the ball. I think its because pitchers don’t actually mean to hit you here, its just an accident so there’s no punishment.

2.I don’t think there are any pinch runners. At least, there appeared to be none because the big guys that could hit the ball weren’t rounding the bases very fast and they never subbed anyone in for them.

3.Many of the fans find the cheerleaders and cheers the crowd is doing more entertaining than the actual sport. Everyone buys those inflatable noise bats and beat them to dubbed American music like ‘dancing queen’ by abba and various greenday songs.