MEGA harsh

This is the story of my grandparents.

My grandfather, Kim Joo-taek, was the third youngest son of a fairly wealthy family in North Korea before the Korean War. They lived somewhat near Pyongyang by what is now the DMZ line. He had two older brothers and four younger sisters. During the Japanese occupation of Korea (in the years preceding the Korean War), his oldest brother became lost in Japan.

I have interpreted the term ‘lost’ in many different ways since I’ve been in Korea. The official story (from Halmony…my grandmother) was that the older brother was taken to Japan because the Japanese knew of his brilliance in some sort of science or math related field. This story is suspicious to me, however, because we were never allowed to talk openly about him in the family. My mother didn’t even know of his existence for a long time. I don’t think his name is on the family head stone at the cemetery. That kind of stuff. If he was taken involuntarily for some sort of extraordinary ability or intelligence, then it seems to me that we would honor him, or pity him at the least. But to pretend as if he doesn’t exist, that seems harsh even for strict Korean value standards.

A story closer to the truth might be that, during the time of Japanese occupation, he went there voluntarily. He was the first son of a semi-wealthy family. It would make sense that some Koreans made partnerships or friendships with the Japanese. I’m not even sure if it would have been seen as a betrayal of the family at the time that it happened. At any rate, as the years passed and the war uprooted the family, loyalties changed and this brother became ‘lost’ or, perhaps more like Halmony put it, dead. Who knows? Maybe I have some Japanese relatives out there.

Anyway, war broke out in the 1950s, of course. As I understand it, Halbodgee’s family took a while to decide to flee. The trains were already shut down. They were a bit further south so I suppose they could afford to wait longer. Also, it seems like they may have had a lot to lose—their land, their house, their estate. My Halbodgee’s second oldest brother fled ahead of the family to the south. That left Halbodgee, at age 16, as the oldest functioning male in the family. His father was so old that they had to leave him behind when they fled.

I’m not sure where his family settled or how my grandfather was able to go to the best college in Korea. (There are three colleges in Korea that are like our Harvard, Princeton and Yale. Those are Yonsei Univ, Korea Univ, and Seoul National Univ. Koreans call it SKY. Of the three, only Seoul National Univ. is a state school. The other two are private. Its, therefore, much cheaper to obtain an education at Seoul National Univ. Koreans let a lot ride on those schools’ reputations. For example, when I came to Korea, Halmony told me to make sure to mention to my superiors at my school that my grandfather went to Seoul National Univ. and that he was a doctor...:-p. Also, if you ever have the privilege to go on a blind date with a Korean, one of the first questions they ask you will be “Do you go to SKY?”)


(My cousin and I dressed in traditional Korean Hanboks for a photo.)

My grandmother, or Halmony, has a little less traditional story. She was the product of an affair between a married man and his mistress. She was born in China; however, Halmony claims her father is Korean.

At some point Halmony and her mother moved back to Korea and away from her father (on the northern border of the peninsula right next to China). Now to give you some idea of the fluidity and politics behind Korean family history, the original story I was told by Halmony was that her mother and father divorced when she was young. I learned this story later from cousins and confirmed it through my mom at a later date. Anyway, at that point in time in Korea, it was very unfortunate to be a child without a father. It was even more unfortunate to be a child unrecognized by her father. And it was extremely unfortunate that she was a girl.

Family is important in Korea, and the fact that Halmony had no ‘official’ family left her with no ‘official’ place in the social hierarchy. Eventually, Halmony’s mother met another man and they tried to get married (let’s call Halmony’s mother G.G. for great grandmother and her man S.G. for step grandfather).

S.G.’s mother had a problem with G.G. (I’m not sure why, other than the fact that I get the feeling that she was kind of weird). G.G. was afraid that if S.G.’s mother found out about Halmony, she would keep them from getting married. So she told Halmony to go away and forget that she was her mother.

MEGA harsh. I mean, who deserves that? She didn’t ask to be born into existence. Anyway, this further proves my theory that G.G. was weird and cold.

Halmony went to live with her grandmother (G.G.G.?). Meanwhile, G.G. and S.G. got married and begot four children. Halmony helped raise them and was (I guess?) still involved in the family.

Anyway, Halmony eventually scored big and married Halbodgee, who was, I suppose, a catch for her economic and family situation. They met when a cousin or something introduced them. I don’t know, it’s all very vague. But they had two sons, my dad and uncle, and left Korea four years after my father was born. The story doesn’t really get interesting again until forty odd years later when a small miracle arrives in the form of a granddaughter…


(Halmony in front of a Korean exhibit in Washington DC)

List of CRAP things that have been going on lately

1.I’ve had the plague for over a week now. Two rounds of antibiotics and hospital trips. No going out on the weekends. Its depressing.

2.I just found out I have to teach an after school class once a week for two hours. That adds my total teaching hours to 25 hours a week. I already feel like I can barely handle the energy required to teach my class load. Almost everyday I teach classes straight from 9-2 with a break for lunch except on Wednesdays. So whatever day they decide to put my after school class on I’ll be teaching straight through the day.

3.I have an open class in a couple of weeks in which the administration and supervisors of the district are supposed to come in and watch. So we have to have a super awesome lesson plan and stress etc. But the thing is, no one speaks English, so they never wanna come in and watch English class. So we’re just doing it to satisfy some bureaucrats that won’t bother to check if we’re actually doing the class or not.

4.I miss my friends in TN a lot right now. The weather is FINALLY getting warm in Seoul (last week it was still freezing temperatures!) and I keep thinking about walking around the Fort and hanging out with friends and opening up all the windows in apt. 7. I’m coming back to K-town next year…will you be there?

5.Mom is coming at the end of the month! So excited.